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KEY POINTS:
Contrary to reports in esteemed publications worldwide, Black Caps all-rounder Jacob Oram will not chop his finger off to play in the World Cup.
It's a wise decision by Oram. This is only the cricket World Cup - not the soccer or rugby World Cups, or the Olympics or Super Bowl.
By deciding not to have his broken ring finger on his left hand removed, the former Palmerston North Boys' High head boy, soccer goalie and volleyballer is also setting a good example to children.
Some people weren't amused. New Zealand Cricket was pointing the finger and threatened to take the New Zealand Press Association to the press council for its story, which failed to report Oram was joking.
NZPA reported: Painkilling injections are another option and, if all else fails, Oram made the startling and presumably serious admission that amputation was a consideration. "If it means cutting the finger off, if that's the worse case scenario, if that's the last resort, I'll do that, there's no way I'm missing this," he said.
Was Oram joking? The Herald on Sunday's man on the scene Dylan Cleaver believed those words were said as a light-hearted aside. I've listened to the tape while Oram is dead-pan, Cleaver can be heard laughing in the background. Cleaver did, however, say the quote was ambiguous.
Certainly Oram didn't finish his sentence with the officially recognised disclaimer: "Just jokes." Little wonder then that the NZPA reporter, who patently doesn't find finger-chopping as funny as Cleaver does, went to town with a story that was seen by more people than anything he'd written before.
Despite all the furore, the dilemma still exists. Oram's finger won't be ready for the start of the tournament. New Zealand's first game is on March 16 and Oram broke his finger on February 16. You do the math. And remember February is a short month!
So, should Oram chop his finger off. It certainly wouldn't affect his bowling or throwing because he's right-handed, but as a six-hitting left-hand batsman, the use of the bottom hand might be harmed. And if he wants to get married, he's screwed.
Are there sports people in history who should have chopped things off? Certain American basketballers may have benefitted from the John Wayne Bobbit treatment.
Should Jason Eaton chop off his mullet? Definitely not. It's what gives him his power.
The general rule of thumb, however, is chopping off a finger isn't really cool unless you have to.
At this point, Oram doesn't have to. But let's wait till the final on April 28, shall we?
What a racquet
I once owned a tennis racquet, a Head Arthur Ashe Competition Edge, bought in 1985. It served me well and I served well with it. Then I lent it to a friend who lent it to someone else and it never came back.
After a summer of frustrating tennis plagued by chronic backhand issues, I went to trademe and what do you know? I wasn't sold my old racquet, but found one extremely similar - an Arthur Ashe Competition, aluminium with graphite core.
This was a golden (at the very least a metallic) era for tennis raquets and I highly recommend a 1980s aluminium racquet over a new-fangled one. Don't go fully retro with a wooden raquet. Remember tennis fans: wood is good but metal rocks.
fa*gan ritual
It has emerged that the New Zealand Rugby Union has made a loss of $4.8 million. While it's easy to blame foreign currency rates, obviously the real issue is monotonous merchandise.
While Paula Ryan may disagree, there is only so much black any wardrobe can handle. Granted, blue and grey tops are available but that's about it. And does everything have to have the silver fern?
Some New York Yankees shirts don't have the famous NY logo. Real Madrid, the world leaders in sports merchandise, sell bikes and dog carriers.
Where can you find a shirt with Daniel Carter's picture on it? If some smarty pants answers this, I'll publish it.
Jonah Lomu
I gave Jonah Lomu a bear hug at adidas HQ on Tuesday and can happily confirm that he is in good shape - and still keen to play rugby.
Lomu knows he has no chance of playing in this year's World Cup but he still hasn't given up on his dream of getting back into the All Blacks.
Lomu and his wife Fiona make a charming couple and if you thought their first names were similar enough already, the Tongan version of Jonah is Siona, which is what his family calls him.
A player he has a lot of time for is Blues winger Rudi Wulf. He believes he has a brilliant all-round game.
